Push!

Tonight I tried a new class at the gym: kickboxing cardio.  I've never done anything that intense before.  An hour long sweat session that felt like it was never going to end.  I kept telling myself that I just had to get through it, I've done many physically difficult things so this was just another thing.  I hiked the Costa Rican rainforest at 14 years old, if I could do that, I can do anything.  Even though I'm almost 30 (more than twice my age since the rainforest expedition) I can still push myself.  Those 10 days were the best in my life, the most difficult sometimes, and the ones that taught me a couple important lessons.  15 years later and I'm still thinking about them and the impact they've had on me.  I am lucky that my parents were able to send me on that trip to experience the things I was able to experience.

One major lesson I learned that week was push.  Keep going.  If you make it through the experience (hiking 10 hours in rain and mud for example), you will have the pride of completing the task and the joy of being able to look back on it and say "I did it!"  The ability to be proud of yourself and happy with your accomplishments is incredibly empowering.  Whether you were able to walk a block or run a marathon, accomplishing something breeds security, power, and drive to continue.  Sometimes it's hard to push through to the finish, but the end result is worth it!

Life isn't made by the easy moments, it's defined by the hard ones that make the easy ones so much sweeter.  Pushing through makes the opportunity to sit and relax so much better.  Don't be afraid, you might accomplish great things!  I know I have.

Routines....

As school is coming to a close I'm thankful, thankful for another year at a job that I love and thankful for a chance to take a break.  Dealing with the students is wonderfully exhausting, being a teacher is an act of service, I am constantly bombarded with their needs and their wants and their problems while I'm at school.  Some of these needs, wants, and problems are purely academic ("What's my grade?" "What's the homework again?"), some are more personal.  I got a letter from a student thanking me because I'm the first adult female she's felt close to because of her issues with her mom, one student wrote me a thank you note because of my faith in her and my patience with her classmates.  This is all part of the job that I love and it is part of the routine of the school year.

During the school year, I get up around 5:30a, get dressed, feed the dogs, feed the cats, feed myself, get coffee, hop on FB for a little while, then leave for work around 6:30a.  Get to work where I have a set schedule of class, carefully orchestrated potty breaks, lunch, and down time all to the tune of a bell.  I'm usually home by 3:30p or 4p depending on tutoring and meetings where I can change, have a snack, walk the dogs, and start to plan/prepare dinner.  A few nights a week I go to the gym and whatever else needs to be done.  I tend to fall asleep anywhere between 9:30p and 10p because if I don't get my sleep fairly regularly I know I'll be a capital BIOTCH and there are a whole host of issues I could be subjected to (weight gain is one of them....ironically enough, but they've also linked bad sleep to anxiety, depression, diabetes, heart disease and  a lot of other nasty things...) But it's all part of the school year routine.

Now comes the summer when I have no routine, nothing to keep me really in line from day-to-day, and this becomes something of a drawback for summer.  With inconsistency, my eating habits take a nosedive.  I do not eat as regularly, I'm not as good about planning what I eat because I'm not under time constraints the way I am during the school year.  I'm a big fan of planning and organization but during the summer that seems to go by the wayside too.  I don't drink water at home the way I do at school (something I'm currently trying to fix....) and I tend to follow Bruno Mars' "Lazy Song".

My goal this summer is to at least plan and prepare meals during the summer the way I would during the school year, this means still making a menu for the week, still planning grocery shopping to a T (better for food AND budget...) and making sure I don't take Bruno's advice too often :-).

I lose my routines on the weekends too during the school year, but Monday is always right around the corner to bring me back.  Let's hope I can keep this summer under control and not let it run away with me :-).

Set Back

Well, this week didn't go so well.  Ok, to be honest that last two weeks I was not on top of my food the way I should have been.  It caught up with me this week.  I had an official gain this week, but I think of this as a new opportunity.  Failure is only a failure when you refuse to correct it, so here I am this week, logging like a pro.  When I'm tracking, it seems that even when the amount is truly ugly, it's still not nearly as bad as when I'm not tracking.  Back on the path I go.

It's normal to sway once and a while, those are reminders that I'm not perfect, that I'm not always going to do this exactly right.  The trick is to not let it totally derail me.  If I give up because of one bad day or one bad week, I'm going to lose the battle not matter what happens. I might as well throw in the towel if every time something goes wrong I lose myself and start beating myself up over it.

The way I look at this (and life in general) is either you can become paralyzed by your mistakes/fears or you can overcome them.  If every time I did something wrong or was scared to do something and I just froze up, where would I end up?  What would I be able to do?  Being a teacher, I'm constantly in the spotlight, I'm constantly on the stage.  The kids ask me questions all the time I can't answer, but instead of losing my confidence in me and who I am and what I'm capable of, it's an opportunity to learn and grow.  There was a quote I read once (that I'm paraphrasing now since I can't recall it exactly...):  Mistakes only become great errors when you refuse to correct them.  It's true, a mistake or a misstep is only a problem if you refuse to learn nothing from it.  When you learn something, you still win, it just might not be the prize you were anticipating.

Anyway, I have to get my butt moving.  Only 3 more alarm clocks!!  Stay positive my friends :-)

Streak is still going strong

I thought that this was going to be a bad week.  I was really bad at tracking as soon as I got home, I was going through the whole "PMS let-me-eat-everything-in-sight" the past couple of days with very little exercise.  I ran on Monday and then felt like I was catching the cold that's been going around so I took it easy until last night where I zumbathon'd with Gina for an hour and a half.  But I still came out a loser on the scale today, so I guess I didn't do too bad for myself this week.  I think I'm starting to reach my groove again.  I'm back in the mind-set of still just practicing prudence and balance in my habits.  It's written in my sub-conscience what I can/can't do, I'm paying attention to my hunger signals again and realizing when I wander into the kitchen because I'm bored, not because I'm actually hungry.  I'm regaining ground that I had lost over the past couple of years and it feels good to be heading back in the right direction.

One thing that's tripping me up right now is my back.  I don't know if I've been pushing it too hard since I've gotten back on track or if I need to have it looked at again since I haven't done anything with it since the injury 12 years ago.  My mom brought up the possibility of arthritis setting in due to the injury and family history...not even 30 and arthritis...*sigh*.  Somedays it feels awesome, I've been working on strengthening my core muscles for this reason alone, but sometimes I'm paralyzed in pain for a few minutes at a time randomly during the day because of it.  I'm working to push through the pain, but there are still days where the idea of moving more than I have to, or standing at all, is a bit much.  But should I be working to push through it?  I don't know.  Since it seems to be more and more of a problem lately, I scheduled an appointment with my (new) doctor.  I am looking forward to meeting him, he's a runner general practitioner who also does chiropractic adjustments...so I'm hoping he's a good place to start (and hopefully end...) with this problem.  I have a feeling I'm going to be sent for another round of x-rays (since the last time they were done was when it happened), but I hope that's as far as it goes.  I don't want to hear any bad news with it (maybe that's why I've been putting this off??).

The other health issue I've got is colon cancer.  With my 30th birthday looming around the corner, I know it's time to start getting checked for that due to my mom's early on-set of it (thank god they found it when they did and were able to operate on it or else she wouldn't still be here...kudos to mom for being in tune with her body).  It's another thing that I'm not looking forward to but I know I have to do to be on  the safe side.

So what's the moral of this story?  Always pay attention to your body, listen to yourself.  When you need to take a break and let your body recover, either for sickness or injury, let it happen.  I know that when I burn the candle at both ends, it sets me up for a disaster.  We must take care of ourselves, whether it means being lazy or being proactive :-), know yourself and know your body, it will give you the signals you need to maintain health and wellness.

Keep on Trucking!

Ok, what do I want to talk about today?  Make it important to you!  I've realized that I have to make exercise and healthy eating and tracking part of my day.  It doesn't matter who's around, who's going to see me, who I have to postpone time with, but I have to do it.  It has to be a priority for me.

Example, last week my mom wanted to go out for dinner.  Usually because it was my mom, I would blow off my exercise plans to be with her, because she is my mom after all, instead I told her I had to do it after I got done at the gym.  And what happened?  Nothing different, my mom and I were still able to go out to dinner and a little shopping.  The world didn't end, my mom wasn't upset and I would have still gotten my workout in (if I didn't fall asleep on the couch, but that's a whole different story...).

Making your health is priority.  I get organic produce delivered to my house because I like knowing I have it to eat, it tastes better than the stuff you get in the grocery store, and it coming to my house means I have to eat it.  There are no excuses.  It costs more money, but you know what I did?  I stopped buying soda, extra chips/pretzels and other snack foods so the money could come out of my budget and not put a crunch on the finances.

There are many things to consider in today's world, men and women all have to deal with it.  The trick is to making you and your health a priority.  Speak up for yourself, ask for what you need from friends, family members, and significant others.  You are responsible for yourself, no one can do it for you and no one should have to.  If you need an hour to yourself to get some exercise in, tell somebody, schedule it in your planner/datebook/app.  If you take an hour of time for yourself now, imagine how many years you'll have in the future with your loved ones?

Some tips from my experience....

Over the course of my journey, I've found a few things that help greatly.

1.  Get smaller bowls/plates.  When I'm having a dinner of mac and cheese (homemade and yummy), beans and rice, pasta, cereal and the occasional ice cream, putting it into a smaller bowl requires me to really decide if I'm still hungry and get seconds.  It helps limit my intake of foods instead of just heaping it onto a plate and not really paying attention to how much I'm putting on there.

2.  Invest in a reasonable-sized good lunch bag.  Something that's cute and not over-sized.  You'll save money and calories by bringing your lunch and only being able to fill a bag with what you NEED to eat for the day will mean you don't have extra snacks at work "just in case".  If you have them, if you're anything like me, you'll eat them.  So, instead of giving your willpower a workout, just have a bag that's big enough to carry you through the day.

3.  Have a mug/water bottle to drink water out of during the course of the day (at work and at home).  Being able to drink throughout the day wherever you are will help you stay hydrated, feeling full, and less tired (for cheap!!) during the day.

and my last one...
4.  Invest in your tracking.  No matter what you do, you have to track what goes in your body and what you put out during exercise.  However you want to track, paper or electronic, is important to keep up with it so you know what you're doing to yourself.  If you're like me and love your smart phone, track on there.  If you like pen and paper, get something you'll keep with you all the time.

I don't presume to know everything, but I know what helps me and keeps me on track.

In other news, I ordered a new Road ID to wear while running since I've almost been hit quite a few times.

I don't have much more to write about tonight, but was thinking about some of the things that help me.  Hope you guys have a good night!

Moving Forward

Last week, I weighed in on Saturday and still lost a pound.  I've been on a losing streak for the past 5 weeks and I'm finally feeling like I'm on the right track.  Last week, because of allergies and social engagements, I think I made it to the gym once, but I still lost weight because I still kept track of everything I put in my stomach.  That is the trick, my friends, keeping track of it all; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

One thing I do for myself however, is give myself Saturday off.  I weigh-in Saturday morning and give myself the rest of Saturday off.  It gives me a little freedom for social engagements that happen often on Saturday night (I have to stay in line Friday night...) but also gives me a break from the structure.  The one thing though is I HAVE to be back on track and logging my food in-take Sunday morning.  I have to keep that disciple.

I'm happy that I've been able to turn myself around.  Part of my being able to move forward, I think comes from hearing my mom approve of me and my (tough) choices.  I know my parents love me, that has never been a question, but hearing my mom verbalize her approval made me feel better.  I've also thought about my "aunt" a lot lately.  My Aunt Sally was a genuinely awesome woman who was taken from this Earth too early due to complications associated with breast cancer.  When my aunt died, I lost the person who was my confidante for the longest time, she died when I was in college and I feel like I have never found someone to take her role in my life.  Of course, that is entirely my fault....  Since I've identified this shortcoming, I have worked towards developing those relationships with other people in my life, not in an effort to replace her, Aunt Sally could never be replaced, but to find someone/people to become that "person" to share with, my Mom is great, but she's still my Mom.

I am happy that I have some great people in my life (parents, Dave, bffs, etc..), but I have to remember that they are there.  No woman (man) is an island, no matter what Simon and Garfunkel told you.  You can't survive on your own.  We are a social species; we want friends, loved ones, and others to be part of our lives.  Holding all of that on our own shoulders makes it too much to bear.  It is impossible to survive and thrive as a human without a "village" so here I am, remembering to make my village.