I'm reaching a milestone, I'm going to be turning 30...but was does 30 mean in today's world? Absolutely nothing.... Being 30 is really no different than being 20 at this point to me except I have more money and parents aren't breathing down my neck!! Well, my parents never really breathed down my neck, they are awesome, but living under their roof at 20-21 did come with a set of responsibilities.
As I look back on the decade that is coming to a close, I see what the past ten years has been, a glorious ride of ups and downs and all arounds. When I started this decade I was a college student halfway through my degree, stayed up late, got up later and did some studying. I was able to finish my BS with two minors in 4 years with a pretty good GPA when I was 21. May 2003 college graduation seems so long ago!! Go CCC grads of '03! I started working for a nonprofit agency and was stationed on Montclair State University. I made a lot of contacts that I didn't use that year but it's all good! If I had, I would have been living in NYC. After that 9 months I got a job working at Delta with my good friend Todd. Working as an environmental consultant was boring, sitting in a cubicle staring at a computer screen was not my idea of what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I loved my office and I will never ever have co-workers like that again, but I just couldn't stand the job itself. After 3 years in the private sector I started teaching. I love my job, I have found the job that makes me happy, I have found the job I could do for the next 20+ years, so hopefully that stays the case.
Relationship-wise I've had 3 main "adult" relationships in my twenties, the last one is crossing over into the 30s. I was never really a "dater" per se, but each relationship has taught me many things that are important to continue living and dealing with people. The relationships have all been a net gain of good, even the divorce. I can't say that I'm thrilled to be a divorcee at 30 but I'm happy that things have turned out for the good. And through that process I learned a lot about myself and my own behaviors.
I started out my 20s probably close to or over 300 pounds (I didn't exactly monitor my weight yet....) and I'm ending it close to being under 200 pounds. 10 years to lose 100 pounds isn't so bad! I have turned myself into a conscious eater, a runner, a yogi, an all-around much healthier individual than when I was 20. I'm not perfect, I'm still overweight and it's still a struggle from day to day sometimes but I'm better than I was then. I feel better, I look better, I am just better. I'm healthier in body, mind, and spirit which is always an accomplishment.
So as I look back at the past decade, and into the next decade I am starting out this ten years as a better version of myself that can only continue to improve. I have things I know I need to work on as far as myself and dealing with others, but being aware is half the battle, so I can't complain that my next decade is already starting out on a better foot than my last one.
Here's to another year I've survived on this earth and to the next one where I'm going to continue to thrive. Birthdays are always opportunities!!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
My Love Affair with Running
If any of you have known me for a long time, I was not the fitness and healthy person I am now. I'm not to an endpoint, but I'm farther from my start. When I was younger, my only reason to run was if someone was chasing me with a deadly implement (not that anyone ever has, but that's what I said about running, "I'll only run when someone with a knife is coming after me, a gun and I'm already screwed..."). What changed you ask? I tried something new :-)
At the beginning of my health journey, a bunch of women I was acquainted with decided to stop being "squishy" as we called it and decided to all register for a 5K race together. A local, no frills, nothing special race but it was a goal. Someone then informed me of the C25K plan, which really helped give me a guide to easing into the process, I can do anything for 30 seconds, and it grew from there. After I ran my first 5K, personal stuff happened and I drifted away from a lot of things for many reasons. But once the personal stuff was out of the way, I decided to get back into it, so I signed up for a new 5K this past March (the Colon Cancer Coalition 5K "Get your Rear in Gear" for my momma). My friend Julius ran the race with me because he's awesome like that. He then challenged me to run the 10K over the Ben Franklin Bridge here in Camden in November, so I said yes.
Over the course of my journey of running I have learned to love it, of course it's not always the perfect relationship, but the sneakers are always there for me when I'm ready to give them my time. I never thought I would be a "runner" and I'm not a very fast runner but I'm still a runner. It is a very active meditation. When you're running it is you and the pavement (or the treadmill) and sometimes my dogs. The outside world melts away as you focus on the rhythmic beat of your feet and the sound of the music in your ears. It's time for things to "compost" as I call it. I'm focused on the running that the other worries I have are allowed to work themselves out in my sub-conscience, I'm not agonizing over a decision, I'm not thinking out all the different possibilities, by the time I get done running, if I've had anything to worry about I have usually come up with a solution. It is because of this that running has become part of my life.
And today I proved that by completing my longest single run yet (except for an 8 mile mostly walk with Julius last year) at 4 miles. I didn't run the whole thing, but I ran and I made it through 4 miles on the treadmill (no outside running in this heat for me friends...). Running and yoga are very similar to me. It is your own practice and you just can't let yourself quit. But in the end, being able to say I did it, is better to me than wondering what if I didn't??
At the beginning of my health journey, a bunch of women I was acquainted with decided to stop being "squishy" as we called it and decided to all register for a 5K race together. A local, no frills, nothing special race but it was a goal. Someone then informed me of the C25K plan, which really helped give me a guide to easing into the process, I can do anything for 30 seconds, and it grew from there. After I ran my first 5K, personal stuff happened and I drifted away from a lot of things for many reasons. But once the personal stuff was out of the way, I decided to get back into it, so I signed up for a new 5K this past March (the Colon Cancer Coalition 5K "Get your Rear in Gear" for my momma). My friend Julius ran the race with me because he's awesome like that. He then challenged me to run the 10K over the Ben Franklin Bridge here in Camden in November, so I said yes.
Over the course of my journey of running I have learned to love it, of course it's not always the perfect relationship, but the sneakers are always there for me when I'm ready to give them my time. I never thought I would be a "runner" and I'm not a very fast runner but I'm still a runner. It is a very active meditation. When you're running it is you and the pavement (or the treadmill) and sometimes my dogs. The outside world melts away as you focus on the rhythmic beat of your feet and the sound of the music in your ears. It's time for things to "compost" as I call it. I'm focused on the running that the other worries I have are allowed to work themselves out in my sub-conscience, I'm not agonizing over a decision, I'm not thinking out all the different possibilities, by the time I get done running, if I've had anything to worry about I have usually come up with a solution. It is because of this that running has become part of my life.
And today I proved that by completing my longest single run yet (except for an 8 mile mostly walk with Julius last year) at 4 miles. I didn't run the whole thing, but I ran and I made it through 4 miles on the treadmill (no outside running in this heat for me friends...). Running and yoga are very similar to me. It is your own practice and you just can't let yourself quit. But in the end, being able to say I did it, is better to me than wondering what if I didn't??
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Stepping Out of the "Normal"
I love to dance. I always have ever since I started taking classes when I was 6 (thanks Mom and Dad!! I know it was just because I was annoying and you had to get rid of me but it was awesome :-D ), I miss the structured dance classes the way they used to be when I was a kid. At home or at work, I can often be found dancing around to my iPod, the radio, or the music in my head. I love just being able to move. It's such a blessing to have the physical ability but it just feels good. I don't know if it's because the endorphins are running around in my brain, but dancing always makes me feel better. "Dance as if no one is watching..." I often wonder what my neighbors think as they see me flailing around the house, but hey, I'm having a good time, so what does it matter?
What does the intro about dancing have to do with weight-loss/exercise? I'm glad you asked!! Today I redeemed a groupon (if you don't know what those are by now, shame on you!) with some girlfriends for The Art of Exotic Dancing For the Everyday Woman. It was just fun. Yes, the woman taught us a striptease for use if desired, but it was just a blast going and doing something different. I sweated! It was hard work, dancing for 90 minutes (in 3 inch heels..), but it was nice to let the body move. Now granted I don't think I "learned" anything I didn't already know how to do with all my dancing, MTV, and club days but it was a good time, and it did make you feel good about yourself. Not that I'm one who's known for having self-esteem problems, but staring at yourself in a full length mirror can at first cause you to judge yourself a little ("oh, my butt looks HUUUUUUGE in these pants" and "hey check out that arm flab!") and it shows. But once the negative thoughts came out and I was able to squash them and make my peace with my lack of perfection, the giant mirror and I became friends.
A few lessons re-inforced today:
1. Don't let the negative (anything) get in your way. I've been playing with the same 2 pounds (up and down, up and down) for a month or so. I was really annoyed with myself this morning when I weighed in but after I was done getting some endorphins running I just have to move forward. I have to own up to my own excuses and just suck it up.
2. Working out doesn't always have to be structured gym time or dedicated ("right now I am exercising") to the exercise. Dancing around your house like a fool can work up a sweat, so next time you're cleaning the house plug in and move your hips :-) Suddenly it won't feel like such a chore :-)
What does the intro about dancing have to do with weight-loss/exercise? I'm glad you asked!! Today I redeemed a groupon (if you don't know what those are by now, shame on you!) with some girlfriends for The Art of Exotic Dancing For the Everyday Woman. It was just fun. Yes, the woman taught us a striptease for use if desired, but it was just a blast going and doing something different. I sweated! It was hard work, dancing for 90 minutes (in 3 inch heels..), but it was nice to let the body move. Now granted I don't think I "learned" anything I didn't already know how to do with all my dancing, MTV, and club days but it was a good time, and it did make you feel good about yourself. Not that I'm one who's known for having self-esteem problems, but staring at yourself in a full length mirror can at first cause you to judge yourself a little ("oh, my butt looks HUUUUUUGE in these pants" and "hey check out that arm flab!") and it shows. But once the negative thoughts came out and I was able to squash them and make my peace with my lack of perfection, the giant mirror and I became friends.
A few lessons re-inforced today:
1. Don't let the negative (anything) get in your way. I've been playing with the same 2 pounds (up and down, up and down) for a month or so. I was really annoyed with myself this morning when I weighed in but after I was done getting some endorphins running I just have to move forward. I have to own up to my own excuses and just suck it up.
2. Working out doesn't always have to be structured gym time or dedicated ("right now I am exercising") to the exercise. Dancing around your house like a fool can work up a sweat, so next time you're cleaning the house plug in and move your hips :-) Suddenly it won't feel like such a chore :-)
Sunday, July 3, 2011
July Positivity
Every month I sit down and think about my affirmations and gratitudes. It's a way to keep positive about myself and know what I'm thankful for. These two things keep me grounded in good, healthy thoughts as opposed to allowing negative ones to creep in. Don't get me wrong, I'm not always a rosy picture of joy and unabashed happiness, but I think I tend to be more positive than most. I do have bad moments in bad days but being able to come out of those quickly tends to keep me on the right path instead of getting lost inside the myriad of negativity that one could sink into.
One of my favorite books as a child was the Anne of Green Gables series and one thing Marilla said was "to despair is to turn your back on God". And it's true. If you despair, or always think in the negative, how can positive come into your life? It can't. When you are constantly being negative about yourself, about your life, your job, etc... you'll never have space for the positive to come in and lift you up. If you're in despair you can't look up and see the beauty that is this life.
Of course being positive is an exercise all by itself, most people don't have the natural inclinations anymore, they've been beaten out of us as a nation by various circumstances. Think about the number of people on psychotropic drugs in this country... Think about the number of people addicted to various substances to "not feel the pain"... It's not an easy road to take, but it definitely will make a big difference in the long run.
Your greatest asset is your mind. Your thoughts can bury you in pain or can carry you through the darkest hour, which will you choose? It's been said: "change your mind, change yourself."
So, for July I will share these with you:
Affirmations: I will work my 10K plan in preparation for November's run. I will track the food that I eat. I will enjoy everyday that is given to me.
Gratitudes: I am thankful for a job that I love that gives me the summer to recoop. I'm thankful for the ability to run, jump, and play with friends or my dogs and the health that comes along with it.
One of my favorite books as a child was the Anne of Green Gables series and one thing Marilla said was "to despair is to turn your back on God". And it's true. If you despair, or always think in the negative, how can positive come into your life? It can't. When you are constantly being negative about yourself, about your life, your job, etc... you'll never have space for the positive to come in and lift you up. If you're in despair you can't look up and see the beauty that is this life.
Of course being positive is an exercise all by itself, most people don't have the natural inclinations anymore, they've been beaten out of us as a nation by various circumstances. Think about the number of people on psychotropic drugs in this country... Think about the number of people addicted to various substances to "not feel the pain"... It's not an easy road to take, but it definitely will make a big difference in the long run.
Your greatest asset is your mind. Your thoughts can bury you in pain or can carry you through the darkest hour, which will you choose? It's been said: "change your mind, change yourself."
So, for July I will share these with you:
Affirmations: I will work my 10K plan in preparation for November's run. I will track the food that I eat. I will enjoy everyday that is given to me.
Gratitudes: I am thankful for a job that I love that gives me the summer to recoop. I'm thankful for the ability to run, jump, and play with friends or my dogs and the health that comes along with it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)